2nd Nephi Chapter 3

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 Chapter 3


Lehi talks to his youngest Joseph about how he was born when Lehi was suffering the most, completely ignoring that his elderly wife was pregnant with yet another child! Let’s just focus on the dude shall we!


Lehi then promises that Joseph’s descendants won’t be destroyed if he is righteous but uh what the fuck we already know they are all going to die! Senile dad needs to put to bed for a little bit. 


Lehi goes I’m a descendent of Joseph and so are you and thankfully we have a prophecy no one else knows about. Aren’t we so blessed 


A branch of Israel will be saved, not Jesus, no there will be another 


Insert yoda meme


Jesus will visit and save them from darkness  ok cool we already know this. 


Then Joseph seeing a hint of worry in Martin Harris’s eyes oh and then it says a seer will be raised up to teach the [Nephites] Lamanites? Wait a minute!


Why is Nephis descendants only the Nephites but Joseph’s are the Lamanites? They all join Nephi later!


Also this seer will be super rad and righteous and awesome and will beat all his enemies and yea yea Joseph lay off it a bit. 

Yes Joseph writes a part where he is named by name that he will be super awesome. Mr ego himself. 


He already had one reference to himself in 1st Nephi but clearly he needs one that names him by name just because 


Then Joseph, the Smith one, says other Joseph knows this because of Moses! Martin Harris scratches his chin uh didn’t Joseph come before Moses 


Joseph pauses a minute. Yeeeeees buuuut god prophesied of Moses to Joseph so he would know about this in yet another secret/lost prophecy 


Egypt Joseph explains what Moses did for some reason and says just as Moses couldn’t speak well you won’t either! You get a spokesman. Martin Harris groans. 


After saying of my loins 10 times Joseph declares that he and the spokesman are related meaning his brother hyrum smith. Thankfully Harris is off the hook


Joseph continually uses fruit of thy loins to mean both Joseph Smith and the natives of America which makes this next section basically indecipherable. 


Joseph says Joseph will convert the Lamanites and all will be well. 


Lehi goes uh I’m not sure how to wrap this up. Your seed will be blessed um joseph smith is going to be super duper awesome and righteous and faithful and restore much to the house of Israel and your descendants 


Lehi then pauses and says you’re probably a little too young so uh just listen to Nephi. Im going to go die now 


End of Chapter 3

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