1st Nephi Chapter 17

 Chapter 17

Over 2/3rds done with the first book. Thankfully most other chapters will not have to be as intense and the last few. We’re almost through the travel arc. 

Lehi and co continue through the wilderness. At this point they’ve reached the Red Sea. After that they go straight east thanks to magic compass through…the desert. And no one complains somehow. 

I’m starting to think the murde— I mean the untimely death of Ishmael maybe scared a few people. 

They travel for 8 years until they hit the Arab sea and find a place with tons of food yay! Idk why it takes them 8 years to cross Saudi Arabia and Oman but it sure beats Moses marching in circles for 40 years. It’s a good thing nobody of importance has died yet! Nobody at all!

Despite being far from Jerusalem they are still eating raw meat which uh who are they afraid of finding them if they cook food? Isn’t Nephi a one man army in his own with his magic steel sword? Methinks he lacks faith in his abilities 

The lord says Nephi get your ass to the mountains. So he does. 

The lord says ok so I know you’re an obnoxious young adult that has never even thought of this but I’m going to help you build a ship. A 24 year old that has never engineered anything. 

The lord then direct him to ore deposits that he somehow retrieves without proper tools and then makes bellows that he has never made before. None of this is directed by the lord Nephi just magically makes this stuff happen 

Nephi says the lord told them not to make fire on their way to the promise land but he says screw it im doing it anyway!

Then Nephi makes tools too that he’s never made before either without direction. Nephi just knows everything!

Nephi’s brethren say Nephi you are out of your mind if you think you can make a ship and cross the seas. We’re not working on that. 

Frankly I do not blame them. Even the best ships at this time wouldn’t stand a chance crossing the entire Indian and pacific oceans but 24 year old vision man Nephi can do it? I think not 

The Nephi gets sad and his brethren go yea thank god we don’t have to do that. We’ve suffered so much for no reason because of you assholes. 

Nephi says you know I’m like Moses right? And the Israelites got conquered because they weren’t righteous. Jerusalem wouldn’t be taken over if they were righteous. Just sayin’

Nephi rants a lot and says you are evil murderers and will be destroyed and for some reason none of you have done anything terrible in the time skip. 

Remember Nephi is the only one confirmed to have killed anyone. Projection much?

Anti-Nephi Co says oh we’ve had just about enough of this and try to throw him into the sea. 

But Nephi activates his trap card and says don’t fuck with me, I’ve got the power of god and anime on my side! I could be like Moses if I wanted to! God told me to build a ship so you’re gonna work for me. 

Yup classic asshole boss Nephi 

His brethren just go uh ok dude. What do we even do this guy has utterly lost it. 

The lord says Nephi I’ve got a cool trick. If you raise your hand I’ll uh shock them submission. 

Nephi goes “sounds rad lord” and casts lightning bolt

His brethren go oh lord make it stop we’ll do anything. 

Nephi goes oh you don’t have to worship me just listen to your parents and the lord and through the lord…..ME