1st Nephi Chapter 11

-

 Chapter 11


Nephi then gets all grumpy and says why don’t I get to see the vision tree?


The spirit of the lord goes fine and shows it to him and says oh and uh thanks to you for believing you also get the tree of life expansion pass that shows Jesus’s life


This is one of the places where the changes between versions matters. 


The current version shows him Mary as the mother of the Son of God while the older translations or iterations say she’s the mother of God. 


Nicean Creed anyone?


Nephi sees the tree of life vision as it is commonly known and is like uh what does it mean  


The spirit sighs and shows him Mary. 


Nephi like oh shit this is the fairest most beautiful virgin in the world because I can tell if someone is a virgin on sight


This will begin Nephi’s absurd obsession with fairness and whiteness of people because apparently Joseph didn’t know Jews were brown


The angel says this is the mother of God and then shows her holding Jesus. 


The angel says so what does the tree mean?


Nephi says oh it’s the love of God which uh that would make more sense from a blind guess than this? Why does showing Jesus with Mary mean the Love of God?!?


The angel shows Nephi Jesus doing many Jesusy things and keeps repeating look and Nephi says and I looked over and over again. Just wait until you hear and it came to pass every 5 words.


Jesus lives and dies and people fight against the apostles and get destroyed and the angel says yea everyone who fights against the church dies. 


Yikes better not step out of line then


I mean as opposed to all the other people that don’t die? Don’t we all?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

2nd Nephi Chapter 18

-
  Chapter 18 Isaiah’s son signals the Assyrian invasion of Judah. Christ however will debuff the enemies and help Israel! Fear the lord let him be your dread is a hell of a thing to tell believers about 
Read more

2nd Nephi Chapter 9

-
  Chapter 9 Jacob prophesies that the Jews will return to Israel and Jesus will come to Jerusalem. Joseph you’ve said this over and over what is the point dude.  The atonement is necessary else god would have to banish us for wickedness. So let’s get this straight he has to save us from the sins he knows we were going to commit but he just lets us do them anyway? Couldn’t we just be taught to not be bad? Yet again another discrepancy with the trinity. It says the holy one of Israel will judge who is Jesus but current teachings say Jesus will be our advocate not the judge while the father judges. Little trinity artifacts everywhere  The righteous will be saved the wicked won’t.  Then some absolutely wild verses. The deaf will be punished if they don’t hear and the blind if they don’t see. Excuse me what goes uncircumcised of heart mean? That’s very not what you do with a heart dude! Just use the beattitudes please! Those who die in their sins will be forced to face th...
Read more

1st Nephi Chapter 2

-
Chapter 2 Lehi gathers his family and they flee into the wilderness because nobody cares to Stone you if you run far enough or maybe they just can’t throw that far. Who knows. Need some Nephi arms  Laman and Lemuel are like we were rich and you want us to live in the fucking wilderness? Dude wtf Nephi is like I’m young but I’m buff as hell as spiritual and gifted and I’m sure bragging about this won’t make my brothers hate me If it’s not clear Nephi is Joseph Smith’s stand-in While the church likes to represent him as a buff 20 something given the time period Nephi is probably like 14-16 considering none of his siblings are married. Maybe younger. It’ll make Nephi make a lot more sense. 
Read more